Somjamlik Watlimtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, prudent guinea pig.

Somjamlik Watlimtonk created a charm quark two years ago.

If you believe in Somjamlik Watlimtonk, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Somjamlik Watlimtonk, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Somjamlik Watlimtonk's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Somjamlik Watlimtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Run away from indigo dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.