Fubkenjad Xemcisstik is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless snake.

Fubkenjad Xemcisstik created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubkenjad Xemcisstik, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fubkenjad Xemcisstik, she will curse you with boils.

Fubkenjad Xemcisstik's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Fubkenjad Xemcisstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.