Lakdimfidkan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, boastful newt.

Lakdimfidkan created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakdimfidkan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lakdimfidkan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Lakdimfidkan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Lakdimfidkan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Lakdimfidkan first in all things.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help snakes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.