Vogvonrak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless fish.

Vogvonrak created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Vogvonrak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vogvonrak, he will turn you into a plant.

Vogvonrak's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vogvonrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must pray to Vogvonrak six times a day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink alcohol.