Cetappyam is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, confident narwhal.

Cetappyam created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cetappyam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cetappyam, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cetappyam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cetappyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect four tin sculptures of Cetappyam on top of important buildings.

5. Never run in the presence of bats.