Tagbestgig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, staggering gnu.

Tagbestgig created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagbestgig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tagbestgig, he will turn you into a sheep.

Tagbestgig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tagbestgig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never eat green fruit.