Cabloopbarnquimarpnad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic clam.

Cabloopbarnquimarpnad created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabloopbarnquimarpnad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cabloopbarnquimarpnad, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cabloopbarnquimarpnad's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Cabloopbarnquimarpnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.