Tunnakcip is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful giraffe.

Tunnakcip created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunnakcip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tunnakcip, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tunnakcip's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tunnakcip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Tunnakcip's priests.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tunnakcip.

5. Never laugh near sheep.