Ponquatmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless goat.

Ponquatmeg created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponquatmeg, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ponquatmeg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ponquatmeg's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Ponquatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear gray ear rings.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always help whales.