Sawbencum is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent bear.

Sawbencum created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sawbencum, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawbencum, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sawbencum's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Sawbencum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about ducks.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Sawbencum first in all things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.