Tenbonklid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, thoughtless swan.

Tenbonklid created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tenbonklid, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tenbonklid, he will manifest in front of you.

Tenbonklid's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tenbonklid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.