Quartwatont is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable deer.

Quartwatont created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartwatont, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quartwatont, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quartwatont's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Quartwatont's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange monkeys for they are unholy.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quartwatont.