Larphatneg is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, prudent coyote.

Larphatneg created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Larphatneg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larphatneg, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Larphatneg's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Larphatneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.