Gabcetkabjon is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless wyvern.

Gabcetkabjon created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabcetkabjon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gabcetkabjon, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gabcetkabjon's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gabcetkabjon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gabcetkabjon on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Gabcetkabjon loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Never play with disobedient children.