Cemjatveg is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, staggering naga.

Cemjatveg created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemjatveg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cemjatveg, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cemjatveg's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cemjatveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dolphins.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about gravity.