Wattigbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awesome shrew.

Wattigbonk created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wattigbonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wattigbonk, she will be very sad.

Wattigbonk's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Wattigbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.