Dussgednatzed is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, happy monkey.

Dussgednatzed created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussgednatzed, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dussgednatzed, she will send minions to preach to you.

Dussgednatzed's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dussgednatzed's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never paint your feet fawn.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never jump in holy places.