Betnanshav is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured tapir.

Betnanshav created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Betnanshav, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Betnanshav, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Betnanshav's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Betnanshav's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Worship no other gods but Betnanshav.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.