Wotmapdim is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy clam.

Wotmapdim created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotmapdim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wotmapdim, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wotmapdim's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wotmapdim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Retreat if nine dogs approach from the south.

4. Never wear mauve dresses.

5. Never talk about amino acids.