Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, emotional crocodile.

Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Always obey Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin's priests.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Negwippak Dosspanghimhomfigmin on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.