Larppinsom is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonest spider.

Larppinsom created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larppinsom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Larppinsom, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Larppinsom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Larppinsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Feed all hungry bats.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.