Yokstafcimtag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, vain giraffe.

Yokstafcimtag created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Yokstafcimtag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yokstafcimtag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yokstafcimtag's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Yokstafcimtag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Foxes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always stare at clouds.