Bopkadzagstan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, tranquil ferret.

Bopkadzagstan created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopkadzagstan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bopkadzagstan, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bopkadzagstan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bopkadzagstan's Holy Commandments

1. Bopkadzagstan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never paint your neck violet.

4. Always look after injured snakes.

5. Always help sick otters.