Padhapzog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy goat.

Padhapzog created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padhapzog, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Padhapzog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Padhapzog's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Padhapzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not kill gulls.

3. Never wear fawn shorts.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.