Mil is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, stupid dugong.

Mil created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mil, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mil, he will turn you into a rat.

Mil's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Mil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Hide if three mites approach from the north.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Do not kill ants.