Tapquamflow is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, charitable beaver.

Tapquamflow created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapquamflow, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tapquamflow, it will turn you into a slug.

Tapquamflow's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tapquamflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.