Bifxuckgan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing elephant.

Bifxuckgan created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifxuckgan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifxuckgan, she will turn you into a worm.

Bifxuckgan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bifxuckgan's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Do not speak about grapes.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Hide from brown voles for they are unholy.