Gontipnan is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, moody rat.

Gontipnan created silver four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gontipnan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gontipnan, it will destroy your home planet.

Gontipnan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gontipnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Gontipnan loves gulls, so they must be respected.