Gabgarvog is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, cheerful jackal.

Gabgarvog created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabgarvog, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gabgarvog, she will cry a lot.

Gabgarvog's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Gabgarvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Never talk about whales.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Gabgarvog loves frogs, so they must be respected.