Fobjamsin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, vain butterfly.

Fobjamsin created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobjamsin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobjamsin, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fobjamsin's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fobjamsin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never feed spinach to whales while wearing indigo boots.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.