Dissnurlpom is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, compassionate pig.

Dissnurlpom created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Dissnurlpom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dissnurlpom, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dissnurlpom's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dissnurlpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Dissnurlpom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always wear brown.