Tafjadloop is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sapient mouse.

Tafjadloop created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafjadloop, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tafjadloop, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tafjadloop's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tafjadloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tafjadloop.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.