Negpinwik is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring hamster.

Negpinwik created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negpinwik, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Negpinwik, it will jump up and down on your head.

Negpinwik's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Negpinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Negpinwik.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not covet oxen.