Tampangpog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, kind raven.

Tampangpog created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tampangpog, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tampangpog, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tampangpog's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tampangpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tampangpog.

3. Do not speak about bananas.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tampangpog.