Wipkenlist is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, competent scorpion.

Wipkenlist created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipkenlist, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wipkenlist, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wipkenlist's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Wipkenlist's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Hide if nine cats approach from the north.

3. Never sing near sheep.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.