Arpstafgoddumrigfutcepgub is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ruthless hyena.

Arpstafgoddumrigfutcepgub created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpstafgoddumrigfutcepgub, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Arpstafgoddumrigfutcepgub, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Arpstafgoddumrigfutcepgub's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Arpstafgoddumrigfutcepgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never hurt capybaras.

5. Never think about moons.