Gemtantin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, strong skunk.

Gemtantin created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gemtantin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gemtantin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gemtantin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gemtantin's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gemtantin.

2. Never paint your neck yellow.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never write about cell theory.