Jonsissignulmutvabnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, passionate crocodile.

Jonsissignulmutvabnutt created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonsissignulmutvabnutt, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jonsissignulmutvabnutt, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jonsissignulmutvabnutt's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jonsissignulmutvabnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Run away if eight swans approach from the south.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.