Kabcibdub is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering hippopotamus.

Kabcibdub created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabcibdub, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kabcibdub, he will send you a sign.

Kabcibdub's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Kabcibdub's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kabcibdub.