Volpibparkkarbim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, compassionate meerkat.

Volpibparkkarbim created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volpibparkkarbim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Volpibparkkarbim, it will turn you into a frog.

Volpibparkkarbim's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Volpibparkkarbim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.