Quambensand is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage goose.

Quambensand created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quambensand, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quambensand, she will have a low opinion of you.

Quambensand's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Quambensand's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.