Stafjen is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fast lizard.

Stafjen created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafjen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stafjen, she will destroy your favourite star.

Stafjen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Stafjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Stafjen.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.