Sugstipcan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome meerkat.

Sugstipcan created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Sugstipcan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sugstipcan, he will destroy your home planet.

Sugstipcan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Sugstipcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sugstipcan.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.