Bifyakquatlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fast wombat.

Bifyakquatlarn created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifyakquatlarn, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bifyakquatlarn, she will turn you into a rat.

Bifyakquatlarn's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bifyakquatlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never skip in the presence of ants.

3. Always obey Bifyakquatlarn's priests.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.