Nartkintaffudwadgarfud is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, boastful gorilla.

Nartkintaffudwadgarfud created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartkintaffudwadgarfud, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nartkintaffudwadgarfud, she will turn you into a rat.

Nartkintaffudwadgarfud's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nartkintaffudwadgarfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Erect five platinum sculptures of Nartkintaffudwadgarfud on top of important buildings.