Nellquimlit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, thoughtless weasel.

Nellquimlit created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellquimlit, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nellquimlit, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nellquimlit's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nellquimlit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never play with disobedient children.