Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous bear.

Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag, he will not care.

Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag's priests.

2. You must pray to Lopvinkap Cetgudmisfabquafspag seven times a day.

3. Never skip in the presence of gulls.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Feed all hungry shrews.