Arflinfad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless crocodile.

Arflinfad created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arflinfad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Arflinfad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Arflinfad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Arflinfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed pineapples to snails while wearing brown shoes.

2. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Arflinfad on top of important buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.