Tonjintarp is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, omniscient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tonjintarp created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Tonjintarp, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tonjintarp, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tonjintarp's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tonjintarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never sit near sharks.

5. Always look after injured goats.