Bopnelbum is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-confident squirrel.

Bopnelbum created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bopnelbum, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bopnelbum, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bopnelbum's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bopnelbum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bopnelbum on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Hide from white squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.